This seems to be a very common question with my brides and viewers of the show....It is so hard to justify having a flower girl and ring bearer but then telling your family and friends no kids. I get that.
However, it is the hosts choice to have or not to have right? We want our guests to have a good time and not have to chase a 3 year old around during the evening. We also want our guests to focus on our day with them. Is this selfish? NO WAY!
For one day you can be selfish...And is this really about being selfish? No. It really is about wanting things a specific way for your day.
So how do you ask this without offending anyone? Like even your best friend?
It is called Adult only reception...How do you list this on your invite?
Never on the invite....But on the Reception card if you have one. If you do not .....You may want to get one for this specific reason to enforce your desire. You can also put it on the response card. How many adults will be attending?
I have to be honest, I have been asked to call guests when they respond with their children on the RSVP card....The kids were not even invited. It is the worst! But if they are not invited, why should one assume that they can invite them without asking right? How about guests who just show up? What is that about? Party Crashers!
How did I handle it??? VERY tactfully! You can always say...."Sarah I just received your RSVP card and unfortunately we just cant have anymore guests. We are only allowed 200 and we are even past this number! I am so sorry!" This ALWAYS works! No pressure from you...They understand...and bottom line you are just telling the facts.
Your guarrantee is 200 RIGHT? No lies...Just facts with a smile!
I know these are issues that happen often...So try not to feel bad or stress... We all go through them and I am telling you from experience we all get through it gracefully!
Samantha
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Parents and Weddings Do Not Make A Good Marriage
So today.....I am told by a client that her mother is starved for meddling....She is stressed...BIG time...What do I say? I know that families can provide a stress that is like no other. They think they know what is best or right....It goes back for generations...Things have really changed since the 50's. Not that I agree with all changes, but some make sense.
G-D I feel so sorry for her!
How many of you go through this? What has been your vice? Has it destroyed your relationships with your own family, in laws or even your mate?
As a planner, I know the one thing I want more than anything is to provide a stress free day...
That is why people hire planners. I am even hidden by couples who do not want their parents to know they hired me...I have to say I am part of the venue. Thus allowing them to have "free help" so the parents or family do not feel the need to nag...Does it work? 50% of the time maybe!
My thoughts and recent article 7/07..I hope this helps some of you!
Think about this, a new couple who just got engaged.. so excited about their upcoming wedding and living the rest of their lives with the one they love. Simultaneously, they are scared BIG time by all the planning, pleasing everyone, adding both cultures if applicable, restrictions of what they can or cannot have at the wedding and worst of all making this happen in 12 months while they work! Talk about melt down! To top if off.... Suddenly both sides of the family become the experts when it comes to giving suggestions on the wedding planning. If it were only that easy!
Well, sometimes (OK realistically most of the time) relatives have their own opinion and want to interfere in anything that pertains to the couple during the process. This overwhelmed couple instead of being excited ends up being surrounded by all the crazies of relatives who feel their opinions are right and things should be just so! What happened to saying this day was all about the couple and sharing their love with the ones that are closest to them?
Um....Bye! Well not if we can help it!
When couples stress, they can easily loose their control over wedding planning and even their dreams of what that day is all about. The term "Brideszilla" or even better "Groomzilla" becomes a reality when things get above one's control. Did you ever think that this could be because one can not deal with such pressures from their very own family? We love family! But even the ones we love know exactly what buttons to push...and at the right times..What's right for one is not necessarily right for all....
However, I believe that wedding planning can be made so that it can actually be a fun process to remember for a lifetime! When you have the right attitude and understand an outsiders involvement or limitations with opinions....It can really be a wonderful affair for all to enjoy.
Getting married no matter what ones thinks DOES becomes a family affair. In my opinion, families and weddings do not always make for a good marriage. Mainly because it is the beginning of a new generation of people going to form a new relation among themselves. They now want to give the planning responsibilities to others such as friends or a professional to lessen the havoc on themselves..That is where a planner is essential! We are the unbiased party who makes it happen....No opinions and no stress! Just fun relaxing good old fashioned planning!
It’s a popular belief that weddings/marriages should be like "heaven", not one person should not make it stressful especially the families.. Nonetheless, it never happens this way.
By keeping this about the couple and not about what others feel is right.....Maybe the affair could run right without a hitch???? Or at least perfect to the couple...Remember perfection is in the eye of the beholder!
Keep the questions coming! This is my first blog without the network! I start taping again in September for Married Away. We are going to Paris! Can't tell you too much! But it should be interesting I have never been to Paris or even Europe!
G-D I feel so sorry for her!
How many of you go through this? What has been your vice? Has it destroyed your relationships with your own family, in laws or even your mate?
As a planner, I know the one thing I want more than anything is to provide a stress free day...
That is why people hire planners. I am even hidden by couples who do not want their parents to know they hired me...I have to say I am part of the venue. Thus allowing them to have "free help" so the parents or family do not feel the need to nag...Does it work? 50% of the time maybe!
My thoughts and recent article 7/07..I hope this helps some of you!
Think about this, a new couple who just got engaged.. so excited about their upcoming wedding and living the rest of their lives with the one they love. Simultaneously, they are scared BIG time by all the planning, pleasing everyone, adding both cultures if applicable, restrictions of what they can or cannot have at the wedding and worst of all making this happen in 12 months while they work! Talk about melt down! To top if off.... Suddenly both sides of the family become the experts when it comes to giving suggestions on the wedding planning. If it were only that easy!
Well, sometimes (OK realistically most of the time) relatives have their own opinion and want to interfere in anything that pertains to the couple during the process. This overwhelmed couple instead of being excited ends up being surrounded by all the crazies of relatives who feel their opinions are right and things should be just so! What happened to saying this day was all about the couple and sharing their love with the ones that are closest to them?
Um....Bye! Well not if we can help it!
When couples stress, they can easily loose their control over wedding planning and even their dreams of what that day is all about. The term "Brideszilla" or even better "Groomzilla" becomes a reality when things get above one's control. Did you ever think that this could be because one can not deal with such pressures from their very own family? We love family! But even the ones we love know exactly what buttons to push...and at the right times..What's right for one is not necessarily right for all....
However, I believe that wedding planning can be made so that it can actually be a fun process to remember for a lifetime! When you have the right attitude and understand an outsiders involvement or limitations with opinions....It can really be a wonderful affair for all to enjoy.
Getting married no matter what ones thinks DOES becomes a family affair. In my opinion, families and weddings do not always make for a good marriage. Mainly because it is the beginning of a new generation of people going to form a new relation among themselves. They now want to give the planning responsibilities to others such as friends or a professional to lessen the havoc on themselves..That is where a planner is essential! We are the unbiased party who makes it happen....No opinions and no stress! Just fun relaxing good old fashioned planning!
It’s a popular belief that weddings/marriages should be like "heaven", not one person should not make it stressful especially the families.. Nonetheless, it never happens this way.
By keeping this about the couple and not about what others feel is right.....Maybe the affair could run right without a hitch???? Or at least perfect to the couple...Remember perfection is in the eye of the beholder!
Keep the questions coming! This is my first blog without the network! I start taping again in September for Married Away. We are going to Paris! Can't tell you too much! But it should be interesting I have never been to Paris or even Europe!
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